Melissa November 2023 to December 2023

So let me say that when you see a beautiful woman, you just think wow, what an amazing looking woman. I have discussed it before that online dating is like window shopping at a mall (look it up if you're Generation Z). You find a great outfit, you want to go in and try it on and see how it looks so you can go out with it in public. 

Melissa was that way in November of 2023. She was beautiful, successful had just sold a 5 million dollar home in Ponte Vedra, had 3 great kids, great job and life seemed perfect...…..then the shoe fell. 

Melissa had been going on and off Match for months, while she was still married. She neglected to post this bit of information. So anyone talking to her had no idea she was married. She said "her soon to be ex-husband had not been faithful the 9 months of marriage or the entire 4 years they were together. Her selfish reasons to justify going online and wasting people's time.

I went to church with Melissa, she's a Christian, so she did have some heart, so I thought. She is a licensed Clinical Social Worker who meets with women and families who helps them through "divorce" and "infidelity"....and see that's where there is the rub. We had great dinners, we had fun on the beach, and went and did fun things. 

Once I learned she was still married, I had wanted to throw up. I understand we "do not covet" thy neighbors wife. I do not speak with married women with the intent to date them, I find that the sacrament of marriage is holy and important to me to maintain, and help my friends who are married and help them through tough times. A stronger world is one with more married people. So finding out she was married and out fooling around really pulled at me. 

Here was a beautiful woman who was perfect, but still married. I wanted to break up with her around Thanksgiving. She was leaving and going to visit family in Virginia, and again bad timing. IF YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE, DO IT, DO NOT WAIT. I should have said I cannot be with you, but I did not want to cause issues while was off and away on vacation. 

So they returned from Virginia and she kept telling me she was getting a divorce from her ex husband before the end of the year. Then she told me a secret about the ex that she had been holding on to. Her 2nd husband had used prostitutes daily and had sex with her while he was having sex with prostitutes. That was creepy, I asked her for her STD test, she never sent me the full test. I sent her my test and I was clean. One of the people she had sex with during her romps at the beach was a retired fire captain who is an alcoholic. She thought nothing of cheating on her husband with him. Don't date cheaters, they are not stable people. 

A lot of baggage from a woman that looked great on the outside, she was very vain and had to have surgery on her body from issues caused by pregnancy. She had saline injected into her lips and other body results. She has issues with a daughter that prefers to stay with her 1st ex husband, instead of with her mother. She has some real family issues and stress. 

Remember that a woman's home family problems....they become your problems when you accept them into your life. Melissa had a lot of problems, starting a new practice and adding more clients, paying for school for her daughter and also for the college of her two younger daughters. In the end she said she had to break up with me, because I reminded her too much of her ex husband. 

So what did she say and what did we learn?

• Just because the face in the window looks gorgeous, don't believe it without some digging.
• Go slow, and if you are not getting the answers you need, go slower
• Go with your gut, when it tells you to jump out, let the other person know "its you not them"
• Do not date cheaters, they will always break your heart.